alone

I feel alone. Loneliness has been chasing me for the past few days. And it's finally caught up.
It's late at night and no one is online. No one is replying to my texts and my closest friends don't text. I feel like God is somewhere else and He's forgotten about me.
Slowly, it's going away. I am not alone. I am not alone. I know it. But why do I not believe it? I suppose it's because I cannot see.. it is easy to believe in what we see, after all. i wrote this a while ago:


A thousand voices screaming my name, a billion people dragging me away and I can't tell if you're one or not. Are you here with me when im screaming? When the crowds pulling me under and throwing me down do you understand how it feels to be trampled like dirt? Is this what you made me for or is there more? I'm so confused and so hurt, my heart is racing and my head is throbbing.. Are you hear when I'm slipping away? 
Is my head with my heart or am I falling apart? I'm losing you and I'm losing myself.  Are you here.. Are you here?
Why do I not believe? Youve said a thousand times you're near yet I refuse to believe; maybe I'm only fooling myself. I don't know the difference, I can't tell the truth from the lies. Do I believe or do I doubt? Who are you really? I am so unsure.

Won't you find me.. Find me. I seek your face only to find clouds when I wish for the sun. You say youre everywhere yet I don't feel you here. Are you real? I am so weak to doubt yet you are so strong...
Am I yours because I'm not my own? This life is a wreck won't you consume? 
This life is yours.


you are not alone. He is with you.. whenever, wherever, always and forever <3




yours truly, M