I can't pretend that I know you or what you face every day. I'm not going to pretend that I feel what you feel, see what you see, or hear what you hear. But I can say this: we all struggle. Some more than others, and some pretend not to, but we all do. It's just a consequence of sin. And believe me when I say this: STRUGGLING IS NOT YOUR FAULT. It's the fault of sin. Now, in no way does this justify your sins. No, sin is the problem not the excuse. But we aren't looking for an excuse to struggle. No, I don't know of anyone who likes to struggle. but, we weren't made to face this alone. ( i know, i know, i'm totally quoting here) we were made to bring our problems on God (cast your problems on Him for He cares for you) and to share burdens with other Christians (not 'christians', followers of Christ). find someone to trust. and trust God, He will never fail you.
yours truly, M
p.s. please, please, please email me: the.only.unknown.one@gmail.com! i'll reply, i promise. and i don't break promises.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
freedom
I hate this game. This stupid tug of war I'm playing with myself. Awkward or immature. I'm not sure which one I hate more! All I know is that I was made for more than all of this random drama I've created. Have I not been remade? Or am I still held captive by the chains that bound me to myself? I thought I'd laid them down. I thought I'd given up. Apparently I thought wrong. Because I'm still my selfish self. Not the self I was created to be.
I thought this would be a better year, I promised myself I would make it amazing. But I can't do this alone. I thought I could.. and I just didn't realize that it was a waste to try because I would only fail anyway. Well, thank God for second chances. But this time, I won't do it alone. Because I want to be more than I am now. I want to be extraordinary. And right now I am merely ordinary..
No longer torn. Those chains have been broken, breaking me from myself. I AM FREE. finally, after years and years of trying I no longer have to try to break me from myself. because i have been broken. at last. none of it matters anymore. none of the effort i've put into building up myself. my walls have finally come down. my mask has been washed away and my heart has been melted. i am no longer awkward, nor immature. i no longer have to choose! my greatest enemy, that is, myself, has been killed. then, resurrected with Christ. but, this time, I am not my own. I am a new creation. no longer toying with choices or hatred. i am His.
yours truly, M
I thought this would be a better year, I promised myself I would make it amazing. But I can't do this alone. I thought I could.. and I just didn't realize that it was a waste to try because I would only fail anyway. Well, thank God for second chances. But this time, I won't do it alone. Because I want to be more than I am now. I want to be extraordinary. And right now I am merely ordinary..
No longer torn. Those chains have been broken, breaking me from myself. I AM FREE. finally, after years and years of trying I no longer have to try to break me from myself. because i have been broken. at last. none of it matters anymore. none of the effort i've put into building up myself. my walls have finally come down. my mask has been washed away and my heart has been melted. i am no longer awkward, nor immature. i no longer have to choose! my greatest enemy, that is, myself, has been killed. then, resurrected with Christ. but, this time, I am not my own. I am a new creation. no longer toying with choices or hatred. i am His.
yours truly, M
Saturday, August 27, 2011
alone
I feel alone. Loneliness has been chasing me for the past few days. And it's finally caught up.
It's late at night and no one is online. No one is replying to my texts and my closest friends don't text. I feel like God is somewhere else and He's forgotten about me.
Slowly, it's going away. I am not alone. I am not alone. I know it. But why do I not believe it? I suppose it's because I cannot see.. it is easy to believe in what we see, after all. i wrote this a while ago:
A thousand voices screaming my name, a billion people dragging me away and I can't tell if you're one or not. Are you here with me when im screaming? When the crowds pulling me under and throwing me down do you understand how it feels to be trampled like dirt? Is this what you made me for or is there more? I'm so confused and so hurt, my heart is racing and my head is throbbing.. Are you hear when I'm slipping away?
Is my head with my heart or am I falling apart? I'm losing you and I'm losing myself. Are you here.. Are you here?
Why do I not believe? Youve said a thousand times you're near yet I refuse to believe; maybe I'm only fooling myself. I don't know the difference, I can't tell the truth from the lies. Do I believe or do I doubt? Who are you really? I am so unsure.
Won't you find me.. Find me. I seek your face only to find clouds when I wish for the sun. You say youre everywhere yet I don't feel you here. Are you real? I am so weak to doubt yet you are so strong...
Am I yours because I'm not my own? This life is a wreck won't you consume?
This life is yours.
you are not alone. He is with you.. whenever, wherever, always and forever <3
yours truly, M
It's late at night and no one is online. No one is replying to my texts and my closest friends don't text. I feel like God is somewhere else and He's forgotten about me.
Slowly, it's going away. I am not alone. I am not alone. I know it. But why do I not believe it? I suppose it's because I cannot see.. it is easy to believe in what we see, after all. i wrote this a while ago:
A thousand voices screaming my name, a billion people dragging me away and I can't tell if you're one or not. Are you here with me when im screaming? When the crowds pulling me under and throwing me down do you understand how it feels to be trampled like dirt? Is this what you made me for or is there more? I'm so confused and so hurt, my heart is racing and my head is throbbing.. Are you hear when I'm slipping away?
Is my head with my heart or am I falling apart? I'm losing you and I'm losing myself. Are you here.. Are you here?
Why do I not believe? Youve said a thousand times you're near yet I refuse to believe; maybe I'm only fooling myself. I don't know the difference, I can't tell the truth from the lies. Do I believe or do I doubt? Who are you really? I am so unsure.
Won't you find me.. Find me. I seek your face only to find clouds when I wish for the sun. You say youre everywhere yet I don't feel you here. Are you real? I am so weak to doubt yet you are so strong...
Am I yours because I'm not my own? This life is a wreck won't you consume?
This life is yours.
you are not alone. He is with you.. whenever, wherever, always and forever <3
yours truly, M
Friday, August 26, 2011
just another piece of my heart.
Welcome to my world. Rather, God's world. This blog is merely scattered pieces of my heart that I'm slowly bringing together.
hopefully one day I'll be able to make it look like this. but, not now. this is the time for God's work.
i'm just another person lost in a sea of faces. i love to have fun with friends and i hate being alone more than anything. i'm claustrophobic and i HATE HATE HATE clowns. not the people just their job. i love to read and write. i have ambitious dreams and i believe that in God's hands my dreams will become a reality. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13 I have a lot of people that tell me what to do, who I should be, and where I belong. Well, some of them are wrong. You should know: I don't listen to people who shove their opinions in my face. I like people who give me space. I want to know your opinion, but please, for your sake, don't force it on me. I love all the friends that I have, but I always love to make a new friend. I have no clue what each day brings and I try to find joy in the little things. If you have questions please ask them and I'll answer honestly, I promise. and i don't break my promises. if i say something, i mean it. if i believe something, i live it. please stick around. like i said, i love making friends.
yours truly, M
i'm just another person lost in a sea of faces. i love to have fun with friends and i hate being alone more than anything. i'm claustrophobic and i HATE HATE HATE clowns. not the people just their job. i love to read and write. i have ambitious dreams and i believe that in God's hands my dreams will become a reality. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13 I have a lot of people that tell me what to do, who I should be, and where I belong. Well, some of them are wrong. You should know: I don't listen to people who shove their opinions in my face. I like people who give me space. I want to know your opinion, but please, for your sake, don't force it on me. I love all the friends that I have, but I always love to make a new friend. I have no clue what each day brings and I try to find joy in the little things. If you have questions please ask them and I'll answer honestly, I promise. and i don't break my promises. if i say something, i mean it. if i believe something, i live it. please stick around. like i said, i love making friends.
yours truly, M
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Three..
Haven't written anything good in a while so here's a go. Tell me what you think:
The first was an average height fourteen year old from Florida. Despite being in the sun most of the year, she had pale alabaster toned skin. Her hair was somewhere between red and brown and her eyes were a supreme shade of blue. She wasn't anything special; just a typical private school student who played tennis and rode horses on the weekends. Her name was Megin Sparks, but at some point in her life she'd earned the nickname Blaze.
Mackenzie had three siblings. Being the oldest of the bunch, she often found herself a caretaker to her rowdy brothers. Her family lived on a small, five acre farm in the middle of rural Kansas. She'd been raised a country girl, but secretly she hated it. When she turned eighteen she planned to move to L.A and make her way as a model. She still had three more years until that happened. She was extremely attractive with her rich, chocolate curls and bright green eyes. Not that beauty would get you anything in Kansas..
She was a dancer. At least, she used to be. Now she was a cheerleader. She'd had six boyfriends in the past two months and nearly all the guys in the school liked her. Not only that, but every girl who laid eyes on her wanted to be her. She was perfect with evenly tanned skin, straight blonde hair, and exquisite brown eyes. Daniella Monterey Miguel-Dani, to everyone who knew her- was a star. And she loved shining.
The first was an average height fourteen year old from Florida. Despite being in the sun most of the year, she had pale alabaster toned skin. Her hair was somewhere between red and brown and her eyes were a supreme shade of blue. She wasn't anything special; just a typical private school student who played tennis and rode horses on the weekends. Her name was Megin Sparks, but at some point in her life she'd earned the nickname Blaze.
Mackenzie had three siblings. Being the oldest of the bunch, she often found herself a caretaker to her rowdy brothers. Her family lived on a small, five acre farm in the middle of rural Kansas. She'd been raised a country girl, but secretly she hated it. When she turned eighteen she planned to move to L.A and make her way as a model. She still had three more years until that happened. She was extremely attractive with her rich, chocolate curls and bright green eyes. Not that beauty would get you anything in Kansas..
She was a dancer. At least, she used to be. Now she was a cheerleader. She'd had six boyfriends in the past two months and nearly all the guys in the school liked her. Not only that, but every girl who laid eyes on her wanted to be her. She was perfect with evenly tanned skin, straight blonde hair, and exquisite brown eyes. Daniella Monterey Miguel-Dani, to everyone who knew her- was a star. And she loved shining.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Comparison
They don't notice me. No matter how nicely I dress, no matter how much time I spend in front of the mirror, it doesn't matter to them. I think it will, so I buy all the nice clothes, I style my hair just right. But they don't even notice. And it all feels like a waste.
Goodbye facebook. I need to get away from you. I see all these things people say to each other- they're loved, they're missed, they're noticed. So apparently, due to my lack of wall posts, I'm not loved, missed, or noticed. It's stupid, really. And I need to stop. I need to stop comparing my looks, my attention, and myself to other people.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." -Audrey Hepburn
So totally true. I have great friends, yet I want everyone to be my friend. Because I see what I do not have, I want more. And what I have becomes minimal, unimportant. What I have is so important to me. But, yet, looking at what others have, it becomes less so. It doesn't have to be this way.
I am loved. I am missed. I am noticed. I believe this to be true, whether or not it seems to be so. And I don't need what they have because I have more than enough already. So I'm done comparing.
Let God bring you joy and rejoice in what He has given to you.
Goodbye facebook. I need to get away from you. I see all these things people say to each other- they're loved, they're missed, they're noticed. So apparently, due to my lack of wall posts, I'm not loved, missed, or noticed. It's stupid, really. And I need to stop. I need to stop comparing my looks, my attention, and myself to other people.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." -Audrey Hepburn
So totally true. I have great friends, yet I want everyone to be my friend. Because I see what I do not have, I want more. And what I have becomes minimal, unimportant. What I have is so important to me. But, yet, looking at what others have, it becomes less so. It doesn't have to be this way.
I am loved. I am missed. I am noticed. I believe this to be true, whether or not it seems to be so. And I don't need what they have because I have more than enough already. So I'm done comparing.
Let God bring you joy and rejoice in what He has given to you.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
My Blogsphere
I am an object of God's love. Period. I have already found my identity and my purpose. I am new. The me of yesterday is gone. Today is a new day and who knows what tomorrow brings. Please don't leave yet. A new perspective is often worthwhile and I can offer you this. So, stay a while. I won't waste your time. If I could promise you one thing, it would be this: I am not like anyone you have ever met- or any blog you have ever read. My blog is not meant to entertain you or to pile my problems onto you. No, not in the least. My blog was meant to change you. To move your heart toward God's love. To help you find the source of passion- of life and of creation. My mission is to change the world, and your life. So, read. You may be surprised at what you find.
Until later-
Max
Until later-
Max
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